Long time no see.....

I've been a bad blogger, don't hate me. I've had kind of a crappy few weeks. My moods are all over the place and I hate it. I have absolutely no motivation or desire for anything in my life right now.
I am completely sucking at the diet and behavioral changes I need to make before surgery.  Considering what I do for a living I know better than anyone that behavior modification does not happen overnight, but I wish it would happen at a bit steadier pace than it is.... Dear God that was a long, run on sentence. Pay no mind to it please. 
I'm gonna talk to the doc about a medication change or modification, because what was working and has worked is not so much anymore :(  Something has to get better soon.  First suggestion would be the weather, that would help my mood at least 50%.  Dear Lord, please bring the sunshine back. Amen.


Now, as I said the diet is not going well nor are the tiny changes I try to make.  However, I have completed 2/6 Nutritional Therapy appointments and 2/6 Dr. appointments.  Slowly but surely.  It all makes a difference and brings me closer to D-Day when my life will change forever and for the better.


Let's see.. Judd has been playing soccer and absolutely loving it. I've only been able to go to two of his games, but better than none.  He is a joy to watch. I still can't figure out how to get pics from Flikr! into a post without doing a single post with each picture. Grrrrr... so I will post soccer pics in a separate post.  


Okay, well I'm off to meet my friend B, for lunch at Qdoba. Yummy!




Hugs,


Jenn

Rockin' my new glasses!

Moving Along

Well, the weight-loss surgery process is moving along, albeit at a snails pace.  I saw Dr. B., that was interesting and even a little disappointing.  He has just changed so much, from when he first moved here and I started going to him, and not necessarily for the better.  I have been putting off going to another doctor for a long time now, because I've been less than impressed with his doctoring.  But I just refuse to give up on people.  


The point of this, is that I expected a much more enthusiastic reaction from him then I got? My weight has been a topic of concern from the very beginning. I can even remember the first time I saw him, forever ago (like a decade plus) lol.  I think he was less than impressed and dare I say a little annoyed/put-off that I am not choosing to go to The Center for Weight Loss Surgery at Wood County Hospital.  I tried to explain this to my family, since there is so much follow-up after surgery, I feel like having some place close to go will allow me an out. I know this doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but I know how I am, I am constantly trying to justify my bad choices. It makes sense to me and really I am the one who has to live with it, so that is what matters.


Anyhow, so my first appointment with the Dr. B. (for the six-month insurance requirement was April 14, 2010.  At this appointment, I got the referral for Nutritional therapy and I saw 'Leah' a Clinical Dietitian and we talked got a history and set my first goals.  I will see her once a month for the next 5 months.  So.. Here are my first 4 goals:


1. Cut down to 2 cans diet pop a day.


2. Increase H2O intake to at least 6- 8-oz. servings.


3. Chew each bite of food 20 times before swallowing.


4. Walk 3 days a week for 1/2 hour.


So far I am failing miserably on the soda goal, but I guess it's only been 2 days.  I'm doing better the past 2 days on the water.  Chewing haven't really focused on yet, and the walking has not happened.   So that's the latest.  I am going to store in a bit, not a lot of money this pay, so it will be interesting and challenging to see what I can buy.  I'm gonna have to get creative.


More as it happens!


Hugs,
Jenn

I got my DS! Happy 5th Birthday Juddy!

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Originally uploaded by Jennifer Maxwell

Beautiful

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Originally uploaded by Jennifer Maxwell

Birthday fun at Chucke Cheese

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Originally uploaded by Jennifer Maxwell

Weight Loss Surgery Update

I received the information from the Barix Insurance dept. and I will definitely need to do the 6mo. doctor supervised diet.  Part of me is okay with this while the little devil on my shoulder is saying no,no,no!  I knew this was a big possibility, so I'm not surprised which helps.  So, I put in a call to the contact at the Barix Insurance dept., a really nice lady named Vicky Scibor. She answered my questions and clarifications I needed and said she would keep in touch throughout the next 6 months. 


Next, I called Dr. B. and I have an appointment scheduled for Wednesday the 14th. I will talk with him about what to do, Weight Watchers, low-fat etc., and what the insurance company needs.  I need to go in monthly for the next 6 months, and the appt. must be specifically about the weight-loss attempt. And the notes must be specific for Medical Mutual to accept them.  


I will continue to update as I move throughout this process.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers throughout this, I will need it.  




Hugs, 

Jenn

So innocent and quiet when I'm asleep

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Originally uploaded by Jennifer Maxwell

Spring Play

Yesterday here in my part of the world, was fantastic!  The weather was perfect, the smell of spring has arrived. 
I spent some time with the boys yesterday so J could sleep before work.  We played inside a bit (Mario Kart), Judd's current favorite, then made some dinner.  Then it was outside, for some Jedi battles with the boys.

 

Moving on to the swings and slide, the boys were having the best time.  Wyatt started on the slide, forget it he wanted to do nothing else. At one point, I asked Judd if he wanted to go down the slide with his brother, he was hesitant but once he did it, he couldn't stop laughing.  Wyatt was so funny, he was giggling uncontrollably.  It was awesome, and made me smile.

Swinging good time!

Sliding fun!

Juddy

 

 Brotherly Love

We spent two hours outside, just enjoying the beautiful weather, the greening grass, and each other.  Wherever you are today, I hope you will take the time to stop and enjoy some time with those you love.

Have a Blessed Easter

I had never heard this song until today when I visited TRENDY TREEHOUSE, so I visited TANGLE so I could also share it here.  Thank you, B from TRENDY TREEHOUSE for sharing.  May this Easter season find you full of hope and peace in knowing the sacrifice that was made for all of us, so that we may live in Christ.  Blessings to all.

-Jenn

NEW START

This choice, decision I confirmed today, has been a long time coming.  It is not one I take lightly.  There has been prayer, contemplation, and fear.  But I believe it is the only choice I can make at this point in my life.

I am having weight loss surgery, specifically the Gastric Band surgery (most likely the REALIZE ).  This is not some magic pill, a magical fix the surgeon will put in my body, it is more of a tool.  It is a tool to help me achieve the healthy life, I have longed for, but has eluded me for too long.  

I went this afternoon for a consultation with Dr. Jon Schram at BARIX CLINICS in Ypsilanti, MI.  I learned  some information I did not know about Gastric Bypass and Gastric Band surgery.  But most of it I did know from the research I have done in the past and most recently for the last week and a half.  I owe a great deal of gratitude and love to my friend Brandy, for giving me the information about the Barix clinics and by extension her friend who shared her experience with Barix.  It was strange, while I went to their website and researched them, I also went to the message boards attached to Barix, and what I found was a place full of amazing, courageous and inspiring people.  It was as if a lightbulb went off and I knew, it was what I needed to do.  But still, I have prayed I am making the choice that God wants for me.  I believe this is what I  am meant to do, his choice for me.

So today, I went and I was completely excited and confident, no worries.  Heh, yeah right!  Once I got there and got my vitals taken, I was freaking out feeling very self-concious and doubting what I was doing there. I have never been so happy to have texting on my phone in my life.  To my friends and sister, Chralin, Brandy, Melissa and Cindy, I love you, you were my rock and your encouraging words calmed me.  

It was just me and another man who brought his wife, for the group consultation, then Dr. Schram met with us individually.  I felt completely comfortable with him and he was incredibly nice.  Pretty much everyone I have met so far has been kind.  And truthfully, I did not expect anything else after all I have read from previous patients.  I believe in my decision.  Next step, is pre-authorization from the insurance company.  Barix has their own insurance department and you deal with one person from start to finish.  I am expecting a call by next week some time.  Dr. Schram did not forsee any additional testing on his end, but Medical Mutual most likely will require a Psych Eval.  I'm not worried about this, my head is in this.

So there it is, the big news.  I have a long road ahead, but I am confident it will be filled with more good than bad.  Challenges are good for the soul, they are the only way we grow.  I do ask my IRL friends and family for prayer and guidance when I seek it, and for any strangers  friends who may feel the pull, I will appreciate the prayers and positive thoughts and comments.  I will need you now more than ever, this is a life long change, one I will constantly seek to improve on.  

Hugs,

Jenn

Checking In

It is very late and I really should get some sleep.  I have a bit of a drive this morning to Michigan, it should only take about 1 1/2 hours but still.  I hope to have some news to share tomorrow night, we'll see.  

I am going to try to watch 'V' than go to sleep, but I'm not sure I'll make it. I took a Mucinex for my sinuses and it's starting to work.  


Hugs,

Jenn 

BIG CHANGES... BUT WHEN??

I've got some big changes and big choices coming my way.  There aren't any specific dates but just a long process that will result, I hope in amazing opportunities and new challenges in my life.  It certainly has taken me a ridiculous amount of time to make this decision, so much time has been lost in a sense.  But, if I look at it that way for too long, regret will set in, and I will be unable to look forward at the amazing things that will no doubt come.  

So, I admit I'm leaving "you" hanging a bit but I am not quite ready to tell the whole world just a few of my IRL people not all the strangers    friends who may find there way to this blog.  Family and friends only for now.  I promise, when things are more definitive and real for me, I will reveal.   Of course, I don't know how many exactly that there are that many stranger  friends that actually read this, though there have been a few. lol.

 Well, enough said for now.  Wherever "you" are I pray you find the beauty of this day that  God has given us.


-Jenn 

Productive Day

Today has been a very productive day so far, and might I say a beautiful sunny day. I've washed all my bedding, and a couple loads of clothes and towels. My living room is picked up although, the boxes of stuff that need to go to the shed are still in  it, but eh, baby steps.  lol.  I made zucchini  pasta for a late lunch, it was actually good even though it had non-fat plain yogurt in it (not a yogurt eater).  I think next time I will add some grilled chicken on the side, for more substance.


Not too much time on the computer, though still some. It is amazing to me, how much better I feel physically and psychologically when the sun is shining.  I have not exercised yet, but we are going walking at 8 tonight.  J and S went to Mansfield to buy a new Harley (for J).  And yes, he got the full helmet.  Thank God, I do not like motorcycles. 


Gonna finish up laundry, do dishes, and clean the bathroom.  Those ridiculous orange lady-bugs are everywhere in my house, but mostly in the bathroom (b/c of the southwest window), I guess.  Mostly they are just annoying.  I have seen a few of the Boxhelder bugs, but those I kill straight away.  I refuse to be infested with those buggers again....  

Too much time...

I really have way too much time on my hands.  I got off work this morning at 9am, and was on the computer till 2:30P.   Good grief!  And  it was a beautiful day today. I start playing those Facebook games and lose all sense of time and space.  Tomorrow will be better and I will go to bed by 12A and not 3A! like I did Sunday night.  

Now tomorrow I will start my day early with a little exercise, we'll see how that goes... I will do my best to stay positive and not cry because it hurts and I can't breathe.  And hopefully between tonight and tomorrow I can come up with something more exciting to blog about.

Springtime

I am very much a shoulder-season girl (travel talk for spring/fall).  I like my weather mild, which is why i love spring and fall.  Not too cold and not too hot.  There is a wooded patch on the road to one of my work homes, and in the spring/fall I love to watch for the buds to start and the leaves to begin falling.  I always try to pay close attention, but inevitably I always miss it.  One day there are just buds and the next I look the trees are covered with leaves/flowers or the leaves are all but gone.  I wish I had one of those time-delay cameras to catch it as it happens. 

I guess what I love most about these seasons is the visible drastic change from one to the other.  Even though I think I would love to live somewhere tropical, I imagine I would miss the change in season, and I don't just mean, more or less rain or a 10-15 degree temperature difference.  Having said that, I can tolerate winter for about a month, after the holidays it can be Spring and I would be happy as a clam.  But that is not how the Lord meant for it to be, so I muddle through and think of sunshine and warmer weather, green grass, and tulips and crocus blooming.  And sooner than I can imagine, it will be here.  I cannot wait!

Some of these pics are from last year, but I don't have any new to share, plus I love them, and it's my blog, so share I shall.

                                             Wyatt and Aunt Jenny Summer 2009
                                                         Lovin' on the Ice Cream

                                                             Judd Summer 2009

                                      Wyatt-Halloween 2009

                             'The best-looking Little Spidey around'

                                                               Judd- May 2009

Movie Night

Typing from my new computer.  Poor old Bessy is or seems to be on her last leg.  Making lots of strange noises.  So...got myself a netbook. Spent most of the day trying to transfer e-mail, iPod etc to new computer.  Frankly a bit of a pain in the butt.  Oh well....

C is up for drill, the boys are in bed and we are all now sitting down watching 'Pitch Black'.  Yum, yum.... Vin Diesel and Cole Hauser.  Love it!  Definitely worse ways to spend a Saturday night. lol.











  

Feeling Better

Well, i feel like i can safely say, i feel much better than i have in 2+ weeks.  Praise the Lord.  The ear blockage situation is still there but I had no dizziness at all yesterday.  And if i do i have the medication for it.  Some nausea throughout the weekend, but the meds helped.  I am ready to get back to life. 

That life of course includes work and all the struggles that come with it.  I read a post today from a blog I follow and it has really spoke to me.  Here is the link http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2009/12/it-is-better.html#disqus_thread.  I am so guilty of pointing out others shortcomings, that i rarely look at my own.  Sometimes I think I thrive on the drama, because my life seems so empty sometimes.  Talk about self-absorbed!  One of the many sins i seek forgiveness for and will receive.  

Fighting the beast

I cannot shake this, whatever it is that's making me feel like crap.  I keep getting told it will take time for the ....... to heal, but gotta say it's not what I want to hear when my head feels like it's going to explode and I feel like vomiting. i know, TMI right?  I guess at least I'm not actually hurling... ahhh there is a bright side.

Wake-Up Call

Ahhh.... the 8:15A wake-up call from Juddy.  "Can u please bring Indy Jones game to my house".  I know, I know, you're thinking 8:15!, i wish i could sleep in till then.
in all fairness, i was up lateish.. plus i do work second shift, and .... okay, I should be up by 8A on most days. No need to roll the eyes.

So, up I am.  Cold pizza and a diet Dr. Pepper for breakfast.  Brush the teeth, throw on clean clothes and off to my delivery of "Indy Jones".  I love him, I do.


Jenn